This word. It is a hard word to understand. It is a hard word to emulate. It is a hard word to spell! (how many double letters are in that word anyway???)
(PS I am not a good speller due to the fact that I have been word processing since I was 12 and have had spell check to support this challenge)
Relationships can not work without cooperation and yet so many survive albeit, barely. My marriage hasn’t always been the most cooperative. It has taken hard work and effort on both our parts to try to work together and put our ego aside for the betterment of our life together. I have realized, over the course of 18 years, that we are an amazing project couple. I dream big and talk big. He brings me down to earth and helps me be realistic. Somehow he always manages to make whatever I dreamed up happen. Sometimes it takes years (decades?) of talking and dreaming out loud. Sometimes they seem like pipe dreams but I still speak them because I trust him. Yes, he sometimes gives me a hard time (I want to make a green house out of wine bottles and I am saving empty wine bottles for this venture) but usually he listens and ponders and eventually figures out a way because he know I am a cooperative, flexible dreamer and really only want what is best for those around me.
Now, don’t get me wrong my husband isn’t perfect (although pretty darn close in my eyes) but he is a wonderful person.
He is a person who tries hard to please others. Funny thing, so am I. We both want those around us to be happy and to be well cared for in the circumstances that we can control. We can control how we make the other person feels. He can make me angry but on the flip side of that coin I can control how I react to his “issues” (and trust me vice versa). He can also make me happy (and 99.7% of the time this is what he does) and I can control how I react to that as well.
This type of cooperation has been what makes our marriage work, but not just our marriage, our relationship. We choose on a regular basis not to be snippy with each other and to cooperate as best we can. Does it always work? Well, no but if we step back from the situation and look at it differently we are usually OK. And if I am honest, sometimes it takes me leaving the situation and coming back to it later to help with the cooperation.
OK STORY TIME!!!
I am getting a fire place! A gas fireplace. We are building the hearth and mantel. He built the bones and I helped out along the way. We decided on tile facade together and I set the pattern for it. He had some ideas of his own and I started to get frustrated. I felt myself start to fume. So I chose to step back. I chose to let things happen and let him do his thing. Guess what….because I chose to step back and not get all irritated it all worked out ok. We aren’t quite done (and no he won’t let me post pics) but already it looks better than I could have ever imagined. AND we were able to cooperate and not fight over something so small.
Let it wash off your back like a duck. Don’t sweat the small stuff. Sleep on it. All good cliches.
Trust me. My marriage isn’t perfect, but I wouldn’t trade it for the world!!